3R Forumula for Empowerment

Awareness

The Chattering Mind

There is a voice living in our heads that talks all the time and most of the time unsolicited. It is sometimes called a chattering mind or inner speech.

This voice sometimes keeps us awake at nights, makes us question our judgement, asks us to do regretful things. When this voice is quiet we feel that there is a peacefulness around us, we tend to think straight and make the right decisions, say and act in consistent manner. In disturbed state of mind, the chatter from this voice is incessant. Sometimes this chatter starts at odd times when it is not needful. We talk back to this voice knowingly and unknowingly, but most of the time it seems like a monologue, because we think that we are speaking to ourselves.

Examples

Have you ever experienced scenarios similar to the ones below?

  1. You are at Home Depot to pick a color for your walls. You pick a color that you like. Suddenly, the voice interrupts and informs you that your spouse may not like the color, you start to have a back and forth argument with the voice. After some time, you end up confused and come back home without completing the errand.
  2. An acquaintance sees you and starts walking towards you. You are not in the mood to talk. The chatter of the mind ensues and you hear it says how irritating it is that you have to talk. You talk back, “I will just say a quick hello and leave.” The voice gives you other options. Unbeknownst to you, your emotions start to surface on your face creating an uncomfortable situation. The acquaintance senses the discomfort projected towards them and leaves quickly.

These are two hypothetical situations, but in both cases the resultant effect was of confusion and discomfort. We can relate other similar situations with these. How many times we have confused the voice to be our own? Do we even know why this voice exists? Is this voice useful?

Examination of Inner Speech

Our personalities are multifold and multifaceted. In that respect the existence of the voice could be of an active persona or a dormant one talking to the active guise. Whatever the source of this voice, it is there to cause distraction. It also creates a different reality for a person. There are ways to make this voice a source of personal development, but that needs honing and great discipline.

You will need to understand that you are in control of the voice. The voice cannot convince you to act a certain way, say certain things, or provide an answer. In all certainty, this voice is not your consciousness, but it is tied deeply to your sense of self. Voice of consciousness creates a dialogue of self-assurance, awareness and acceptance of the emotion, and constructive criticism. Inner chatter is critical and induces self-doubt, gives an escape from reality, and causes resistance to change.

Existence of the Voice

At this point, the question arises about the reason of existence of this voice in a normal person. There are several reasons, but the main reason for this voice to exist is to create comfort for you. Its tone is not consistent and changes as per the need of the situation. It will convince you to lie if that brings comfort to you, in the very next moment it will provide you a logic that is contrasting- what if lying will create a situation that is even more uncomfortable. Another certain thing about this voice is that it is constantly talking.

Controlling the Chatter

It could seem like an unachievable task to control a chattering mind. The foremost reason for this difficulty is that we assume this to be an integral part of our personalities. The truth is far from it. So, what can be done to control the incessant chatter of our minds? The answer is not that simple. One can decide to shut it up and not let it surface again- they can say that that would be an easy thing to do.

In personal experiences, I have found that this is not at all easy. The chatter creeps up on us unknowingly. We start another conversation with the voice forgetting about our resolve.

The answer really lies in cultivating consciousness-based aware thinking that raises the cognitive side of our brains. An objective approach to the voice and listening to it truly as if you are only eavesdropping and ignoring the conversation as it is unusable to you. Again, this is easier said than done.

So, here is a simple exercise to ignore the chatter-

  1. Observe the mental chatter and pick the focus of the conversation
  2. Focus on your breath
  3. Stop doing anything and write down the focus point of the chatter (use your smartphone to make the note if that is convenient)
  4. Find the link- is it related to any innate fear, insecurity, or any other troubling feeling
  5. You have now turned the focus on yourself instead of the mind’s chatter

Let us know if this worked for you.